


I've Seen This All Before

by DamsInDistress



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-12-30 22:12:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12118278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DamsInDistress/pseuds/DamsInDistress
Summary: “I’ve hurt myself enough loving him from a distance. I’m just going to get hurt even more with how close he is to me now and I’m so tired of getting hurt. I don’t want to be in love with him anymore.”





	I've Seen This All Before

Approach with caution. Words that Robin always repeats in his head whenever Ant was near by. It was easy at first when they were still at different teams. But as luck would have it that Ant eventually moved to Andretti and it became apparent that it was easier said than done. 

He remains guarded and closed off at first. It was weird considering how much the two of them shared before they made it to Formula E. It only really took one smile from the Portuguese man directed towards him for his resolves to crumble. Laughter eventually filled their conversations, conversations that led to dinners out together. Somewhere between talking about Ant’s stint in DTM and Robin doing Blancpain they migrated to a bar and the drinks flowed with their stories as they tried to get back to their hotel clinging on to each other. 

It started with Robin leaning on Ant in the elevator as they made their way to their floor. The moment the doors opened, a pair of warm lips have claimed Robin’s and he couldn’t find it in his alcohol muddled mind to not kiss back. The warmth that turned into a shot of electricity that coursed through his veins as Ant drags them towards his room and soon they were pulling each other’s clothes off as they tumble into bed. Robin shouldn’t want this, he knows he’ll regret this the moment he sobers up. But he lets himself have one night to get lost into his desires as Ant makes it hard for him not to moan his name in the dark as he sucks a bruise on his neck. 

Robin wakes up the next day with his head feeling like hell but his body sore in all the right spots. He turns to see Ant still asleep as he takes that as his queue to make his exit. He slips out of bed easily as he pulls on his clothes. “You can stay.” A sleepy voice says from behind him. Robin doesn’t even turn around as he slips his shoes on. “I’ll see you around.” He tells himself that that would be the last time he’ll share a bed with Antonio Felix da Costa. Robin knows he’s lying to himself. 

Robin expected for things to get awkward between the two of them after that night. But Robin didn’t expect for Ant to act the way he did. Ant getting him coffee on their way to the track, waiting for him so they can get lunch together and even saving him a spot next to him when they’re out to dinner with all the other drivers. Robin tells himself that it was just his way of trying to be a good teammate. Robin ignores the way Ant would light up when he takes the offered cup of coffee or how they always end up ordering the same food or how Ant always pulls his chair for him to sit down. He protects himself from looking to deep into things. The last thing he needs is to be hurt when he could have prevented getting hurt. 

“So when will you stop playing hard to get?” Felix asks him one day while waiting for their flight home. He tilts his head as he watches Felix eat some crappy tray of sushi he got at the airport. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Robin says as Felix rolls his eyes. “Oh come on, even a 10 year old can see Ant’s trying to win you over.” Felix says. “You’ve been in love with him for how many years now and it’s almost like faith is swinging in your favour and now you’re acting like an idiot.” He adds. Robin fiddles with the rim of the paper cup of his now cold coffee as he avoids looking at Felix. “I’ve hurt myself enough loving him from a distance. I’m just going to get hurt even more with how close he is to me now and I’m so tired of getting hurt. I don’t want to be in love with him anymore.” Robin says as he finally looks at Felix with cold blue eyes. 

He hurts his knee. He fucking hurts his knee. Robin felt like the world hated him in that very moment. He was out of hospital after getting looked at and his knee fixed as best as they could in that moment. He’s going to have to wait until the season’s over to actually get it fixed right by having surgery done to it. He was home by that afternoon and by night time someone was knocking on his door as he hobbles with the crutches given to him to answer the door. The last person he expect to see on his doorstep holding bags of Chinese takeout and looking worried was Antonio Felix da Costa. Robin also didn’t expect the hug that he was soon enveloped in but he lets himself melt into Ant’s arms with how tired and shitty he felt. 

It almost made him feel queasy as he watches Ant move around his house. He helps Robin get on the bed and put his knee up as he brings out the food he brought with him. He just looked so at home, as if he belongs in Robin’s life in every possible way. “I even got fortune cookies.” Ant says with a triumphant smile as he holds them out. Ant puts on Pearl Harbour as they eat dinner in bed. Ant eventually end up with one arm wrapped around Robin as he rest his head on Ant’s chest. He helps Robin take his painkillers that night as they fall asleep next to each other still fully clothed. The sound of Ant’s heart steadily beating and his warmth enveloping him was enough to soothe any pain he felt in that moment. 

Things moved quickly after he injured himself. It was a matter of building his strength back up and managing to race with an injury before his surgery. Before he knew it, Robin finds himself in Montreal doing the last two races of Formula E. He shuts out that little voice at the back of his head saying it could be the last two races he does in the series, the last two races he does sharing the garage with Ant. If Ant’s touches lingered a bit longer than usual or the looks he threw Robin’s way was as if it was the last time he’d see him, Robin ignores all of that. He focuses on the task ahead as he slips into his overalls and puts on his helmet. Things take a crazy turn when Buemi went nuts after things don’t go his way. Robin watches as he has a go at Ant as he accuses him of hitting him. Robin knew that it was him that Buemi should be shouting at and when he eventually does, Robin was too tired to be diplomatic and gave Buemi as piece of his mind. 

When the dust settles on another season of Formula E and Lucas eventually walks away with the championship, Robin thinks that he’s earned a night to enjoy himself. He finishes up putting on his suit when he hears a knock on the door. He opens it to see Ant fiddling with his cuffs as he looks up to see Robin. A smile stretches across Ant’s face as Robin feels his cheeks heat up. “You look more handsome than usual, Frijns.” Ant says with a smile. They head downstairs to join everyone at the gala dinner. Everyone was dressed to impress but Ant never left Robin’s side for more than a minute the entire night. It was one when Ant had to answer a call that Robin was left with Felix. “He loves you.” The Swede says. “He doesn’t.” Robin says back. “He told me he loves you. And we both know Ant doesn’t lie about his feelings.” Felix says as he looks at Robin. “I need to go.” Robin says before he goes to find Ant.

He finds him just outside of the ballroom where the gala was held as Ant pockets his phone and was surprised to see Robin there. “Hey, I was just going back inside.” Ant says as Robin looks at him. Robin doesn’t know what took over him in that moment as he pulled Ant close to him and presses their lips together. He feels Ant wrap and arm around his waist as his other hand moves to cup the back of his head. “Let’s get out of here.” Robin says against Ant’s lips. He feels Ant’s smile against his lips as he presses their foreheads together. “Okay.” He says before he drags Robin towards the elevator to head back up to his room. 

They make it inside Ant’s room before he presses Robin against the door as he presses their bodies flush against each others. “You have no idea how beautiful you look tonight.” Ant says between kisses. “I didn’t know if I wanted you in that suit forever or if I wanted to rip it off of you.” He says as he tugs on Robin’s tie. “Ant, bed.” Robin pants out as he looks at Ant’s eyes that have gone dark and hazy. “I want you so bad.” Ant says as he strips Robin’s suit off of him. “Show me.” Robin says as he looks Ant dead in the eyes before they tumble into bed together. Robin commits to memory the way Ant’t lips felt against his, against his skin. The way his body feels against his and the way he can draw a moan from his lips. Robin knows no one else will make him feel the same way Ant does as he cries out his name and Ant collapses on top of him. He rolls them over as Ant spoons him from behind. He waits until Robin’s breathing even out as he places a kiss on his shoulder. “I love you, Robin.” He says in the dark. Robin bites down on his lip to stop a sob from escaping as he lets a single tear escape from his eyes. 

Ant will eventually wake up to a cold empty bed with only a note and Robin’s tie left on his hotel room floor to remind him of what happened last night. Ant reads the note as he clutches on to the tie before he crumples the small square piece of paper and falls back into bed. 

_’I waited so long to hear you say those words and now I wish you didn’t. I love you too but I wish I don’t. Goodbye Antonio.’_


End file.
